Monday, September 20, 2010


                                                          FREEDOM FROM THE PRESS

I used to watch football. I kind of got back into it when it looked like the Vikings might make it into the Superbowl.  Like making it to the playoffs is somehow going to get the Vikings into the Superbowl! ha

Allen Barra at the Daily Beast had this to say about sportscasters:

Every time I hear a football commentator make a lunk-headed statement, I wonder whether he studied at the Ditka School of Broadcasting. Joe Buck, for instance, on Fox Sunday before the New York Giants played the Carolina Panthers:  “You have to do well on third downs.” Well, yes, you do, because you’ve only got three downs in which to do something before you either punt or try to kick a field goal. But if you “do well” on first down and second down–or at least do better than your opponent–you don’t have to worry as much about third downs.

He also discusses other retarded statements that you will hear many times over a single broadcast of a football game.

Football Is a Physical Game

I gather that football is a physical game. Barra points out that the members of the team dedicated to the front line each weigh in at about 320 pounds. The sounds that reach us over the airwaves these days are so sharp that you are able to hear every contact on the field. And you also hear the groaning of the players during and following each and every collision between these giants.  

Chemistry Is Important

Barra points out that you will hear the play by play men speak of chemistry amongst the players. It is a stupid metaphor as far as I am concerned but it is based upon the fact that if you mix a beaker of A with a beaker of B you will end up with some chemical reaction and a substance that is more than just A & B.
So as the metaphor goes, a good pass receiver combined with a good quarterback gives you more than just a receiver and a quarterback. 

Of course where real chemistry comes into relevance here has to do with the players themselves. In order to build a monster that can play on that front line, many substances must be used. These Frankenstein monsters have bigger frames and heartier musculature through better chemistry.

The Team With the Best Defense Wins

Barra’s play by play on all of this can be rather humorous:

If ex-players often seem nebulous, coaches can sound as if they have a head full of concrete. Mike Ditka, who doesn’t seem to have had a new idea about football since Fred Flintstone strapped on his helmet for the Green Bay Pachyderms, said on ESPN before Sunday’s Detroit Lions-Chicago Bears game that, “The team that plays the best defense is going to win this one.” This is the kind of prediction that sounds intelligent because it can never been wrong. The team that plays the better defense–in terms of giving up the fewest points–always wins, and sure enough, Ditka’s former team, “Da Bears,” gave up only 14 points to the Lions’ 19.
John Madden of course is my favorite color commentator of all time.

As I read Barra’s little essay, it occurred to me that the same type of criticism can be made of cable news programs and Sunday Meet the Press type programs. The statements made by the guests are bad enough, but the ‘take’ of the pundits is miserable to say the least.

I think the powers that be in the MSM should ‘shake it up’ a bit.

Now Madden, with two Superbowl rings as a one time football coach, has retired from broadcasting.
But I think they should bring him back as a color commentator following the normal Sunday interviews where nothing is revealed except the talking points of the interviewee and the incompetence of the interviewer. I mean put the guy right on the ABC panel with George Will and Robert Reich. It would go something like this, I should think:

George Will: The Democrats are in terrible straights and in my humble opinion, the Republicans will take over the House of Representatives as well as the Senate and they will SHUT DOWN THIS HORRENDOUS FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.

John Madden: Well the Senate has a hundred ‘seats’ as they say—although they really mean that it takes 100 butts to fill the chairs in the Senate Chamber.  Can I say butts on these kind of shows? Hahahahaahahhahahha Anyway…

But it says here on this card; the card they gave me that there are 37 Senate seats up for grabs—as they say in the gallery hahahahah—and the linky thingy says that amounts to 19 Democratic butts and 18 Republican butts.

Now so far the dems are dropping balls all over the place. And the republicans are moving their balls down toward the end zone; even though they aint much for gay things.

Now if I were a dem leader, well I would not settle for some quarterback sneak…no, no, no

What I would demand is a v shaped offensive line—of course the dems have to get the ball back first because having an offensive line stratagem is just not going to work at all without the ball.

Now now now the dems have to take that ball down the field cause after four downs it just gets turned over to the other side.

And you have to hold on to the ball while you are proceeding toward that end zone.

George Will: Actually I am a baseball fan. And I believe that this country cannot get back to basics unless and until the Republicans bring in a good reliever and I mean a good reliever not one of those temps that the White Sox or Red Sox bring up from the minors because their main relievers are suffering from fatigue during the last 20 game stretch of the season and….

Peggy Noonan: Well I am in a womens’ softball league. We have soooo very much fun….

David Brooks: Will you shut the frick up bitch?

John Madden: But once you get into that end zone, I mean not way into the end zone but but but but but just over the line that separates the field from the end zone cause you know that once you break that invisible wall with the ball in your protective custody—I like that word because it sounds, well it sounds legal and stuff—you get points and you cannot win a football game without points and the democrats need points desperately.

Well you get the idea. I am so damn sick of hearing the same tired crap from the ‘pundits’ on MSNBC (except for Ed and Keith and Rachel of course).

Oh the dems are going down oh the dems are going to lose control of both Houses of Congress unless the dems only lose the House of Representative and keep a 51 seat majority…..blah blah blah

Oh the dems could lose California and West Virginia and Delaware and …..
This all gets so very tedious at times.


Amike said...

One of the great joys of doing my grocery shopping online is that I don't have to calculate how much I can slog home on foot before I checkout. The other, greater joy is that I don't have to pass by the "news" papers and "human interest" magazines at the register.

When I avoid doing that, I avoid having to think of the number of my fellow citizens who get their "news" from those sources. How Ostrich-head-in-the-sand of me, huh?

cmaukonen said...

Ha...The only sport I thought our current crop of politicos - especially those on the right - would be any good at was Tic Tac Toe. And even then they would have to cheat to win.


Mike and C--I of course believe that if these people were not on these stupid panels and working for the great newspapers, their real talents would be better put to use on these silly magazines and such.

They get into these phrases that are repeated over and over and over again. And they fight to be heard even though they have nothing to say.

Alan said...

I do kind of miss the Weekly World News - the black & white front cover often had such delights as "Green Kinds From UFO's Baffle Top Scientists!" - and they were the folks who gave us Bat Boy.

Much of the twaddle that passes for commentary would be a good fit there if they were still around.

Alan said... KIDS!


I see them all the time Alan, those mags are still there. JESUS REBORN IN INDIA.


I thought they were gone but they are still there.

trkingmomoe said...

I don't watch much Sunday morning political talk shows since Obama became president. They always say the same thing and they have been wrong for a long time since Y2K. When economist were signaling that we were headed to a major down turn, the regular talking heads said it was only going to be bumpy for a while. You know not only on Sunday morning but also during the week on 24/news. I know better now not to buy into their opinions.

trkingmomoe said...

Pssst....Richard. People in my part of the country do attack aligators and eat them. They taste like chicken. LOL


TASTES LIKE CHICKEN HUH?? hahahahahaahahah