Friday, September 10, 2010



Okay, so it appears we find ourselves in a new era.

Here is a sampling from a speech given almost half a century ago from some politician:

No man can fully grasp how far and how fast we have come, but condense, if you will, the 50,000 years of man's recorded history in a time span of but a half-century. Stated in these terms, we know very little about the first 40 years, except at the end of them advanced man had learned to use the skins of animals to cover them. Then about 10 years ago, under this standard, man emerged from his caves to construct other kinds of shelter. Only five years ago man learned to write and use a cart with wheels. Christianity began less than two years ago. The printing press came this year, and then less than two months ago, during this whole 50-year span of human history, the steam engine provided a new source of power. Newton explored the meaning of gravity. Last month electric lights and telephones and automobiles and airplanes became available. Only last week did we develop penicillin and television and nuclear power, and now if America's new spacecraft succeeds in reaching Venus, we will have literally reached the stars before midnight tonight.
We have a different kind of speech making today.

Oh back in 1962 there were real fears in this country; don’t get me wrong.

I mean communism was going to take over the world whether Nikita kept his shoe on or not.

As a boy I was worried about Dutch Elm Disease; all the trees in my little suburb would be lost before I made it to high school.

I was told that Daylight Savings Time would destroy the very foundations of our society. (Although I recall thinking in those days that birds and butterflies and squirrels did not seem overly concerned about the hands on a clock.)

Fluoridation of our water supply would make it impossible for me to ever have children.

The National Debt was so great in 1962 that I was afraid my grandchildren would never have the opportunity to own heir own transistor radio.

There were worries expressed in the press as well as the local diner that the Pope was exercising far too much power in some place called Washington; but Grandma assured me that my single most important obligation on this planet was to do what my Pope wanted anyway since he and he alone represented Christ on earth.

Back in 1962 I was assured that unions were destroying this country and I tended to believe that since the guy who ran all the unions was actually named Meany!!!

I recall that many people were no longer listening to the Pope and that pretty soon everyone would end up getting divorced.

I also recall that there were initiatives to actually erase Sunday Closing Laws from the books so that instead of going to church, people would be running to clothes stores and getting their groceries on the Sabbath. I knew something about Jewish people because they would appear on Ed Sullivan telling jokes all the time and I knew that their Sabbath was on Saturday; and there were absolutely no Saturday Closing Laws that I knew about. Of course I attended Catechism on Saturdays anyway and people were shopping all over the place on Saturdays anyway and the entire situation was extremely confusing to me.

Well a lot of things changed over the last half century. 

I mean we still have bouts of Dutch Elm Disease but there appear to be an awful lot of elms that made it through the storm.

My computer takes care of things like daylight savings time so I do not need to worry about such things

There appears to be more problems with our water supply than ever before but fluoride is in our toothpaste so that can’t be the problem.

We never really paid back that huge debt we owed ourselves in 62, but we got a lot better at printing money to take care of that problem.

Jesus picked an ex NAZI as his representative on this planet, but that does not seem to bother people much since no one in this country ever listens to El Papa anyway.

Everybody is now free to seek a divorce but spousal homicide does not appear to have abated any.
Communism never really caught on and the Ruskies have been real busy (along with the Red Chinese) attempting to make lots of money.

Unions represent less than half of the workers they once represented thanks to ‘right to work’ laws.
And thanks to right to work laws we have double the number of people who cannot find work; and the ones who can find work, work for a lot less money.

No we have new menaces and new dangers to face in this new era; that’s for sure!

Since my prologue went on far too long, I can only discuss one of those menacing dangers facing our nation to day. 

But first, I must provide a proper context for today’s discussion.

We find ourselves in Colorado examining the Governor’s race.

See, the Dems decided to nominate a fellow by the name of Hickenlooper for governor of Colorado. 

(Boy, the dems can sure pick em!! I mean with a name like Hickenlooper, they are going to need longer ballots. And aren’t their ad men around who help political parties for these elections? I mean a hundred years ago everybody knew that you needed Smith Brothers cough drops if you had a tickle in your throat. Do you really believe that Smith & Co. would have lasted more than a century if they had decided to call their product Hickenlooper Brothers cough drops? Oh well, I digress.)

So one would think that running against a guy whose name sounds like some disease of the muscles;  the repubs would have some sort of leg up, as they say.

(Although if Huckabee runs on the repub ticket in 2016, the dems might think of nominating Hickenlooper. By 2016 the country is going to be so damn sick of the dems that the repubs should be way, way up in the polls and if its Hickenlooper v. Huckabee…well confusion develops amongst the electorate and the dems might have a fighting chance. But I digress again!!) 

Well, some teaparty guy by the name of Maes won the repub primary in Colorado. And it appears that Maes is quite the scholar even though it appears his forefathers had difficulty spelling things.

Maes went ahead and researched. He studied everything about his opponent, this Hickenlooper fellow.
It seems that Hickenlooper had been the mayor of Denver prior to this run for governor. 

And Maes uncovered a scandal of the first magnitude in Denver; a conspiracy of sorts that threatens the entire fabric of our society:

Republican gubernatorial candidate Dan Maes is warning voters that Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper's policies, particularly his efforts to boost bike riding, are "converting Denver into a United Nations community."
"This is all very well-disguised, but it will be exposed," Maes told about 50 supporters who showed up at a campaign rally last week in Centennial.
"This is bigger than it looks like on the surface, and it could threaten our personal freedoms," Maes said.
Forget a real unemployment rate approaching 20% of our work force. 

Forget a national debt that is approaching the actual stock port folio of the richest one percent of our population.

Forget a global warming threat that will soon bring palm trees to northern Minnesota as well as the Dakotas

Forget a prison population that is approaching one percent of our population.

Hell, forget about fluoridation and even Dutch Elm Disease for a moment.

Maes has discovered an international conspiracy (without communistic involvement, evidently) to fuck up our bicycle paths.


And the Tea Party as well as the repubs have the answers.


TheraP said...

I try to keep a firm hand on my bicycle handles. And our local bike paths seem untouched by this conspiracy. Nonetheless I will be on the lookout. Thank goodness for the Table Round and the Knights Errant.

Isn't it time for a blog on how Knights will protect us from this bike path peril? ;)

I assure you the Gentle Ladies will be thrilled to know their safety will be assured via some method yet to be determined....

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a good idea TheraP. hahaahah

Lancelot would be pretty good on a bicycle I should think. He would always remember to feed it and otherwise care for it!!!


TheraP said...

Oh, good! The Gentle Woman's Guild is thrilled! :-)

Oh, boy... that was a poem!

~flowerchild~ said...

This bit I am about to type is not really pertinent to your blog, Mr. Day. 1)A mature American Elm, even after contracting Dutch Elm Disease, will still live up to 30 years before dying. 2)There actually are some elms that are resistant to the disease. 3) An American-Chinese hybrid elm tree is a superior resistant choice.

I just can't help myself. I love trees, you know, which is probably why I am so boringly geeky about it. After the Dutch Elm Disease scare, there was the birch borer scare and now we have the Emerald Ash borer messing with my trees. I am just waiting for the palm trees to grow this far north so we can be scared about Dutch Palm Tree Disease.

It's always something, Mr. Day.

Now. As for the Colorado GOP governor candidate and the scary bike takeover communist plot or whatever they're calling it this time around. hahahaha


Flower, we worship the elm in these parts.

I mean, there is the mighty oak. and the ever present pine.

But we love the elm.

Without it, where would Elm Street thrive even without nightmares. ha

TheraP said...

We have an elm that came to live in one corner of our backyard. It snuck into the hedge. And we decided it was a nice addition to that corner. It will likely live a long, long time.

I love trees! I need them! I love them in every season. I love how the leaves come out in summer, to shade you. And fall so in the winter time the sun can shine through and keep you warm. I love how the moon shines through the branches. I love leaves falling. And leaves budding. Leaves waving in the breeze.

Did I tell you I love trees?

Amike said...

I love elm trees, even though I'm allergic to them. Dutch elm disease?--we didn't call it globalization back in those days.

But I'm reminded of one terrifying moment from my youth. The blockade of missile ships headed to Cuba at the behest of Uncle Nikita. At my college people went around trying to make up with each other and end quarrels--they were quite sure they were going to die and didn't want to face the afterlife with unfinished business.

The war that could have happened and didn't, and because it didn't, is largely forgotten now. But it was pretty real to us in Chicago then.

Anonymous said...

OK. Just to pull one point out of your (as usual) fascinating collection of idea - the weird name Hickenlooper.

John Wayne - born Marion Robert Morrison.
Marilyn Monroe - born Norma Jeane Mortenson, but baptized Norma Jeane Baker.
Hell - William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton - born William Jefferson Blythe III.

How many people were born and given one name and later changed it? What's so sacred about the original name handed to you by your family and religion when life now last on average about 76 years?

My parents - especially my mother - wanted to call me "Jack." I grew to hate the name. ("Oh! Jack. Are you nimble? Do you jump over candlesticks?" from my parent's friends as they were introduced to the child they stared down at. I was thoroughly insulted and put down.)

MY Dad told my mother that "Jack" was the diminutive of "John" so I became officially "John" and was given the second name of my great-grandfather Richard (who had been a Republican in Tennessee when the Civil War broke out. As a Republican in a border state he retained the right to vote after the Civil War so he got the job of federal marshal.)

When I entered first grade I told the teacher my name was "Richard." I just liked it. I hadn't heard of great-grandpa Richard then. My parents learned of the the name change the following Spring.

For Hickenlooper it's a social thing. He has a known reputation and he wants to run for office based on that reputation. It's too late to change now. Maybe he needs a name education program? Here's what the Internet has just given me.

Origin of Hickenlooper, Meaning of Hickenlooper - google "Name: Hickenlooper etymology.

Origin: Hickenloopers first came to America from Mittleschlechtbach, Germany in October 1754. The ship 'Peggy' on which Andreas Heckenleib arrived in this country sailed from Rotterdam, Holland, thus many think the name is Dutch. I have been told the name means 'hedge-hopper/thief.' I understand there are still Heckenliables in Germany today. Some Heckenliables ventured through eastern Europe and Russia first, before coming to America. When they arrived they called themselves Heckenlively.
Surnames: Heckenlaible, Heckenleib, Heckenlively, Hickenlooper, Hickenloover
Submitted by: Emily Dikis
9/11/2010 4:16 PM.
=========================== (blockquotes and URL's are not accepted here. Damn!")

Or maybe he doesn't need that in the news. "I have been told the name means 'hedge-hopper/thief.'" Yikes! Hell of a name history for someone who is a politician! He may have to depend on the reputation he, himself, has developed in his own stead instead of just on the name he has inherited and been somehow handed upon birth.

Still, I personally enjoy the harsh German vowels in the name. German has always depended more on the solid "h's", "k's" and "l's" than has English, at least since Shakespeare and the King James Bible fixed the English language so that it changed more slowly. (Can we blame that on the French Influence? Frogs hate harsh sounding names? Too much Latin influence there.)

So really, what's wrong with the name "Hickenlooper?" I sort of like it. It's not nearly as bland, colorless and meaningless as "Tom" or "Smith," or the Welsh "Jones."

And for the voter entering the voting booth - it's a name you can remember, right??

Should I switch from calling you "dd" to "Arty?"

Richard said...

Sorry, I haven't figured out yet what my name on this system is to be. I'd like to go with "Rick B, previously known as Richardxx and previously as Rick B", but that's too damned long.

Richard said...

Why am I not surprised that someone calling herself ~flowerchild~ loves trees? I mean - What's in a name? Even the ones we choose to use on the Internet? (Hmmm. I wonder. Is there a sociological research project in that question??)

I'm fascinated by names. Often when I hear a name I try to guess what part of the world it is from. I've gotten reasonably good at guessing middle European names - German, Bohemian, Slav, etc. and surprisingly the names from India mean a lot also. "Singh" means Lion, but is also the last name adopted by many Sikhs when they abandon Indian class society. "Patel" is an Indian family, often hotel-keepers. Check your local Indian national hotel keeper and don't be surprised if he is a "Patel."

But I ramble, as I am oft wont to do. dd, I know you don't understand rambling. Right?? (HeHeHeHe.)

Guess I'm stuck with my blogger/google account name.

And the edit function works differently here, too. Yuk! I hate change!!! (So I am addicted to education, currently taking two computer courses and a creative writing course. Masochism??? That's as good a label as any.)

Anonymous said...

Well hello there Richard.

You got me laughing this cloudy Sunday afternoon with the ducks just quackin like there is no tomorrow.

I think it was Arty Johnson from Rowan/Martin who would run around sayin:

You can call me rick or you can call me dick or you can call me richard or you can call me rich....

The old joke, just don't call me late for dinner.

Etymology of names is fun. It perked my interest the last 50 years reading stories of Arthur. The evil one before Arthur was Vortigern but in the end Vortigern just means 'king'. He probably had a score of names over his lifetime.

People were named after the places their ancestors supposed arose.

Then there is William the Bastard aka William the conquerer aka King William aka William of Normandy aka....

I am sure that the saxons stuck with the bastard moniker. hahah

I had an Anthro professor who admired Turkey for some reason because it was the first modern day dictatorship...whatever that means.

Well the dictator initiated a census and so all of these rural tribesman came to town to be counted but their dialects were not readily discernible to the the census takers. Anyway, there are a number of Turks that have names translatable as 'donkey' and other terrible terms.

The census takers would ask the inidviduals name and the census taker would simply list him as 'donkey'. hahahahah

--see, i forgot to sign in so I have to be anonymous--dick

Richard said...

But Dick - should I call you Arty now?

Richard said...

And Arty, you are remarkably easily amused.

Richard said...

The Army shipped me out to Germany in Spring 1967. Star Trek had just come on that Fall 1966 and an excellent show about a social worker starring George C. Scott was taken off TV because it was too hard nosed. When I got back to the states in 1970 Rowan and Martin was on. I had missed the assassinations of M.L. King and of Bobby Kennedy among other things. America had gone from a country where men wore dark suits to one where men wore bright colors. That was when I had culture shock - when I returned to the U.S.

I later saw the next two years of star trek in reruns. I haven't gotten over the culture shock yet.

Richard said...

The George C. Scott show was called East Side - West Side.

Richard said...

dd - Arty - Whatever.

I want your TPM crew here posting. I miss the camaraderie. You and Thera P are great. Where is everyone else?


I hate change.